Settle differences face to face

Matthew 18:15-20

One of the most critical moments the body of Christ experiences is, when members are at odds against each other, and resolution isn’t always guaranteed. We are to love God, keep His commandments, love our neighbors, and walk faithfully in our calling, but times will arise when believers will bump heads with each other, and need to quickly, and peacefully resolve their issue, before matters progress. There’s one thing the enemy takes great pleasure in, and that’s seeing God’s children fight and bicker with one another. Unity is key for the effective progression of the church, but when discord is sown, this can stunt growth in churches, thus causing members to scatter and possibly lose faith.

Jesus left an example in our text that shows how believers should handle personal conflicts, and settle disagreements. He said, if your brother, or anyone of the same faith, sin against you, it’s your right to go, and tell them their fault. This is to be done in private, and only between the two of you. News spreads fast, especially amongst the body of Christ, so God prefers to avoid exposing drama by keeping it suppressed to those involved. Jesus continued to teach, if your offender actually hears, and accepts that they messed up, then you’ve gained them, or settled your differences. If only this was the case in all disputes, then life would be much more peaceful. Unfortunately, not everyone is mature enough to own up to their mistakes, and in this case, Jesus advised us to bring one or two more people with us to confront our offender, so that in the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established. It’s so much easier to simply admit that you messed up, apologize, then move on, but some people prefer to be stiffnecked and harden their hearts for reasons unknown to me. If you truly love God, you’ll make honest efforts to seek peace, and pursue it in all your human interactions.

In the age of social media, it’s rare that men talk face to face to settle disagreements, because they would prefer to text, or use Facebook and Instagram, but real man talk things out, and accomplish more by being in each other’s presence, rather than hiding behind a cell phone. For those who refuse to “man up” to their error in the presence of two or three witnesses, Jesus instructed us to take things up with the entire church. How embarrassing is that, to have your business exposed to the whole church body, when you could have dealt with things in private? To make matters worse for the offender, if they chose not to hear the church, they were to be treated as heathens and publicans. In other words, the church was not to engage with any religious communion with him until he repented. After he repents, the church is to forgive him, and remember his sin no more.

As a believer, what methods do you take to settle differences among your brothers and sisters? Do you bicker and hold grudges against them when they offend you, or do you approach them in love, seeking only to bring peaceful resolution, so that the two of you can continue fighting the good fight?

Walk in love,

Ell

The Lord’s call and family conflict

Matthew 10:34-39

One of the biggest challenges new believers face is, maintaining their new found love for God, while learning to adjust in the same environments they once operated in before they met Christ. There are many who find difficulty in trying to balance holy living, while still dealing with their troubled past. Wives who commit their lives to Christ, but are joined with unsaved husbands, tend to struggle loving them, as the men consistently reject what God is doing in their wives. Children who dedicate their hearts to God at early ages struggle with obeying unsaved and unruly parents. When we accept the call of God on our lives, there’s no doubt we’ll run into issues during our encounters with our unsaved loved ones, but no matter who rejects our commitment to serving God, we must stand firm on what we believe.

Christ told His disciples He came not to bring peace, but a sword. “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12). Because men love and embrace darkness, they’ll never accept, nor appreciate the light of God that shines through our lives, until they realize that the end of darkness is death. Many families are divided, because some have decided to serve God, whereas others choose to abide in sin. No matter how much you love and care for your family members, Jesus said that whoever loves them more than they love Him, aren’t worthy of Him. Well, tell us how you really feel Jesus. Knowing that every man must work out his own salvation with fear and trembling, Jesus wants all our focus on Him, so that we can become all He desires us to be. Rather than compromise our faith by giving in to the pressures of our family, we should strive to live holy, so that those we hold dear can see the hand of God ordering our steps, and hopefully submit to Him as well.

Walk in love,

Ell

Solve conflicts one to one

Matthew 5:21-26

As a seasoned saint, can you honestly say that you get along with everyone in your walk of life? Can you quickly dissolve quarrels and arguments, without them turning violent, or are you the one who fuels the fire? Do you speak soft words to appease those who sometimes get angry? What steps do you take while engaging in conflict resolution? Christ’s theme in all His teachings was centered around love. Everything we do should be based on God’s love. In a world filled with sin and evil, Christians are the last ones you’d expect to get caught up in unnecessary quarrels amongst each other. We are to be a light to the world, and salt that flavors the earth. When believers fight against each other, they should be mature enough to solve their issues quickly. There’s no sin in being angry, but if that anger is left unchecked, it can quickly turn into jealousy and rage, that’ll eventually lead to disorderly behavior.

Jesus taught that we should make peace with our brothers and sisters, even before offering gifts to God. This proves that God cares more for unity in the body of Christ, rather than offerings and gifts. We are God’s people, and the sheep of His pasture. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). We weren’t saved, set free, and delivered from sin only to fight and bicker with our brother. We have work to do for God, that requires our full attention. There’s no time to waste arguing over futile matters, but believers should focus more on unity amongst the body, and witnessing to the lost souls that remain.

Walk in love,

Ell

Differences settled peacefully

Genesis 26:28-33

Seeking peace, and pursuing it with all men, always turns out good for you in the end. Oftentimes when someone is treated unfairly, they tend to hold a grudge against those who wronged them. But in loving our enemies, and those who treat us bad, the Bible says it’s like heaping coals of fire on their head, and the Lord will reward us for doing so. This means to cause a burning sense of humiliation for rewarding your enemy with good, for their evil. They’ll eventually begin to feel deep emotions of shame and discomfort, which are the first elements of true repentance.

After being sent away from his home in Gerar by King Abimelech for simply prospering in the land, Isaac moved on and established himself where his father once dwelt. While asleep one night, Isaac received a visit from the Lord who reassured him that He was still in control of the events of his life, and that He would bless Isaac for his father Abraham’s sake. So Isaac blessed God and built an altar in reverence of His holy name. In the midst of adjusting to his new place in life, Isaac received a surprise visit from the jealous king Abimelech, who brought a couple of his boys along with him. Isaac was puzzled concerning their visit, because he thought for sure the men hated him. But to his surprise, they came to make amends. Just as I mentioned at the beginning of this lesson, the king was overwhelmed with guilt and shame, because Isaac humbled himself, even when being treated unfairly. The average person would more than likely miss the opportunity to reconcile with their enemy by retaliating based on feelings of past hurt, but Isaac represented God in all his actions. Real love forgives, and moves on. It never holds past mistakes over a person’s head, but buries it in order to have a peaceful outcome.

In all situations you face in life, remember that you represent the God of all creation, and not yourself. Your decisions and reactions, even in unfair situations, should always be a representation of what Christ would do, if He were in your shoes. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:44-45).

Seek peace,

Ell