Settle differences face to face

Matthew 18:15-20

One of the most critical moments the body of Christ experiences is, when members are at odds against each other, and resolution isn’t always guaranteed. We are to love God, keep His commandments, love our neighbors, and walk faithfully in our calling, but times will arise when believers will bump heads with each other, and need to quickly, and peacefully resolve their issue, before matters progress. There’s one thing the enemy takes great pleasure in, and that’s seeing God’s children fight and bicker with one another. Unity is key for the effective progression of the church, but when discord is sown, this can stunt growth in churches, thus causing members to scatter and possibly lose faith.

Jesus left an example in our text that shows how believers should handle personal conflicts, and settle disagreements. He said, if your brother, or anyone of the same faith, sin against you, it’s your right to go, and tell them their fault. This is to be done in private, and only between the two of you. News spreads fast, especially amongst the body of Christ, so God prefers to avoid exposing drama by keeping it suppressed to those involved. Jesus continued to teach, if your offender actually hears, and accepts that they messed up, then you’ve gained them, or settled your differences. If only this was the case in all disputes, then life would be much more peaceful. Unfortunately, not everyone is mature enough to own up to their mistakes, and in this case, Jesus advised us to bring one or two more people with us to confront our offender, so that in the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established. It’s so much easier to simply admit that you messed up, apologize, then move on, but some people prefer to be stiffnecked and harden their hearts for reasons unknown to me. If you truly love God, you’ll make honest efforts to seek peace, and pursue it in all your human interactions.

In the age of social media, it’s rare that men talk face to face to settle disagreements, because they would prefer to text, or use Facebook and Instagram, but real man talk things out, and accomplish more by being in each other’s presence, rather than hiding behind a cell phone. For those who refuse to “man up” to their error in the presence of two or three witnesses, Jesus instructed us to take things up with the entire church. How embarrassing is that, to have your business exposed to the whole church body, when you could have dealt with things in private? To make matters worse for the offender, if they chose not to hear the church, they were to be treated as heathens and publicans. In other words, the church was not to engage with any religious communion with him until he repented. After he repents, the church is to forgive him, and remember his sin no more.

As a believer, what methods do you take to settle differences among your brothers and sisters? Do you bicker and hold grudges against them when they offend you, or do you approach them in love, seeking only to bring peaceful resolution, so that the two of you can continue fighting the good fight?

Walk in love,

Ell